Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
