I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
