I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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