so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
