who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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