I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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