i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
