Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
