So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
