Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
