ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
NoShamevember. You game?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
