Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The feeling are messing with the penis
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
