when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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