tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize