We're like a lot better than the average bears
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
