Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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