I just made out with a guy for $7.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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