Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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