I'm pants shitting drunk right now
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
