Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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