Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
