Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
