My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
