i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
