porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
