Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
