Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
