My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
