we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Shitshow foam night was such a success
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
