she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
