we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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