Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
