So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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