Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
