so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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