i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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