almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
