Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
