If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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