he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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