Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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