she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
