Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
