i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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