I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
