Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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