i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
