Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Blood and glitter go together right?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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