Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
