...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
now i know why i became what i already was.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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