I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
