have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
