You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize