so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize