The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
