Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
