You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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