with your own penis?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
