You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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