you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
