last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she woke up with a sticky ear
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
